Wednesday evening, I steeled myself and dialed my brother’s phone number. For the third time in two years, I would be bidding him farewell before he embarked on a trip to fulfill the duty he considers his calling: a tour in Iraq with the Marines of the 3/4. He’s already done one full tour; he […]

Today’s winner for best headline: Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia And the best line in said article: “‘They’re urban raccoons, and they’re not afraid.’” Or maybe it’s this one: “Brown said he had seen packs of raccoons this big but none so into killing.”

For months now, GTB has been trying to get me to play a game of Scrabble with him. I’m an obnoxiously competitive person in general. It’s not even cute or charming. Really, it’s just obnoxious. I think you all know of my disdain for things like bowling and pool. Games that I’m no good at, […]

You have got to be fucking kidding me! If the guys of Supervova sincerely believe that Toby delivered a better performance than Storm did tonight, they are even bigger remos than I thought (and that’s saying something). I read something a few days ago that said that most of the contestants don’t really want to […]

For some reason, this list has been popping up everywhere today. I don’t normally care that much about it, mostly because I know I’m never on it. But today, after seeing it for twentieth time, I clicked through and noticed that I actually know someone on it. And I don’t mean “know” like I “know” […]

I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because I leave comments in places that web crawlers like, but I get about 30 spam comments a day. Most of the time, they are in Chinese characters and, not being a native speaker of Cantonese, I don’t even know how offended I should be. Othertimes they are in […]

I’m sitting here watching Rockstar: Supernova, the elimination episode. I’m desperately hoping Patrice doesn’t get kicked off, both because Barker is in love with her and because I dislike Jill so much. In the meantime, Josh is performing and though I’m mostly nonplussed by his chops, I’m still moved by his performance. Despite his crappy […]

Too busy to write anything clever or interesting today. But, because I care deeply about where you get your daily shot of completely worthless and only midly funny news, I’m sending you over to the Portland Mercury’s blog. Be sure to check out the link to the “Garfield is Dead” site. It’s weird. BlogTown PDX

As a writer and a neurotic, I’m prone to hyperbole. When I love something, I don’t just love it; I love love LOVE it. I say things like, “Hand’s down, this is the best…” whatever at least once a day. I use adverbs more than probably anyone you’ve every met. (Are you starting to get […]

This morning, I got up earlier than normal so I could be first in line when the DMV opened at 7:30. I had studied the Oregon Driver’s Manual, I had my proof of address on me, and I was ready to surrender my Washington driver’s license. When the doors opened and the line of people […]