Memo to Oregon Drivers
To: All Oregon Drivers
From: The Girl at Hickopolis
Re: Terwilliger Curves Reader Board on northbound Interstate 5
Please be advised: when above-mentioned reader board is lit up with a message, you are allowed to read it as you drive. It is not required that you slam on your brakes. The fact that there are words on the board does not necessarily indicate an accident up ahead. In fact, more often than not, the information on that board is about an accident at least ten miles from that location, usually on another highway.
If, on the other hand, you feel the need to slow down because you are incapable of reading
Crash on northbound Hiwy 30
north of Scappoose
Trucks use I-5
without slowing down to a near crawl, there is something wrong with your vision. Please drive straight home, cut up your license, and donate your car to Dove Lewis.