So close and yet…two weeks away (I hope)
I am SO over this whole first trimester thing. After maybe the worst day of morning sickness ever on Saturday, I had a couple of really good days and thought I might be on the tail end of all the nausea, wooziness, constantly sore boobs, and unbelievable sleepiness. And then suddenly…this morning.
I can’t tell you how tired I am of this black hole feeling in my stomach, and the feeling that I might pass out if I turn my head too fast. I’m sick of the taste of Tums. I work in an office that shares floor space with a Starbucks and I’m exhausted from trying to avoid the coffee smell every second of every day that I’m at work. (Also, though I love the weekly emails I get from Babycenter.com, do I really need the extra “bulletins” I get from them on things like “What you need to know about c-sections!” Um, I’m 11 weeks pregnant. I think what I need to know about c-sections right now is pretty much nothing. If they want to tell me what I need to know about why I’m craving salty foods, I’m all ears.) But mostly, I’m ready to be at the point where I can just give up and start gaining a pound every week.
This will come as a shock to exactly none of you, but I’m kinda obsessed with how much pregnancy weight I gain. So far, I’m up about four or five pounds, which, I’ve read, is pretty typical for the first trimester. So, if I don’t gain any more weight over the next two weeks, I’ll be at just the right weight to start my second trimester when I can expect to gain a pound per week, on average. The problem: I still have two weeks and I’m finding that the only way my tummy feels OK is if I’m constantly putting food into it. Not too much at a time, mind you, because then I get heartburn (hence the need for all those Tums). So though I’ve started working out again (if you can call a leisurely 30-minute stroll on a treadmill “working out”), I’m living in constant fear of those extra few pounds.
The weight I’ve already gained is visible in my stomach for sure. Though, unfortunately, it isn’t a cute little baby bump or anything like that. It just looks like I ate a bunch of nachos and guac last night, i.e. I look, quite simply, fat.
My friend gave me this book a few days ago and I started reading it last night. It’s pretty hysterical; I had to interrupt GTB’s TV watching a couple of times to read him snippets. My favorite part so far is her advice about NOT worrying about gaining weight. Essentially she said “you can’t drink, you can’t walk around in slinky clothes. What the hell else is there? Go ahead and eat!” Which, at the time, made perfect sense. I just about walked downstairs and dished myself up a bowl of ice cream, but then I remembered we don’t have ice cream in the house.
It made perfect sense, that is, until I got dressed this morning and had to put on not-quite-too-tight-but-getting-dangerously-close-to-it pants and then decided that since I know that by the end of the day, my belly will be bigger than it is at 6:30 a.m., I should probably wear a looser shirt. And the only shirt I could muster the energy to put on (which is short-hand for I didn’t have to iron it) was this big, ugly, billowy thing that made me look pregnant even before I was pregnant and that was OK before I was pregnant but now it just makes me feel like a cow.
Anyway, I’ve just remembered one other thing I’m ready to be gone: hormones.
Dear nine-pound, eleven-ounce baby Jesus, let me be one of those women who feels better than she has in her whole life in my second trimester. Let the days of wine (or some other non-alcholic beverage) and roses (or some other flower whose smell doesn’t make me gag) be only a couple of weeks away. In the Blueberry’s name, I pray.
Amen.
July 2nd, 2008 at 7:28 am
oh man. this entry is pretty much EXACTLY ME right now…and I’m only 8.5 weeks along. The little bugger is only the size of a blueberry but my belly is starting to resemble one of those gigantic Perkin’s muffins (I don’t know if they have Perkins in Portland..). This makes me sad inside but the only way to feel ok and/or not barf is to eat constantly. Yesterday i was convinced that something was wrong because I was feeling like a normal human being. Not so much today. Yay early pregnancy! right?