{"id":39,"date":"2005-08-17T14:29:31","date_gmt":"2005-08-17T21:29:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/?p=39"},"modified":"2005-08-17T14:29:31","modified_gmt":"2005-08-17T21:29:31","slug":"northern-belle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/?p=39","title":{"rendered":"Northern Belle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Regular readers of this blog (or anyone who read last Sunday&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/?p=34#comments\">post<\/a>) know that I am currently obsessed with the South. I want to live there so bad, I start drawling and spouting y&#8217;alls just thinkin&#8217; &#8217;bout it. This craze has several origins: an ex from North Cakalaki, a formative summer in high school when I visted Texas, my sister-in-law&#8217;s Tennessee-born mother whom I adore, Kings of Leon, and my recent finding that houses are dirt cheap down there. I think I&#8217;d be a great Southerner: I&#8217;ve got the accent down pat (I&#8217;m not sure which regional dialect I&#8217;ve mastered, does it matter?), I love sweet tea, and I pass out really easily in the heat, with or without a corset.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been doing some research on tailgate parties (it&#8217;s work-related, I swear) and came across this <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tailgating.com\/default.htm\">site<\/a>. Under the Tailgating Trivia is a list of the differences between the South and their counterparts in the War of Northern Aggression. Some of it is funny:<\/p>\n<p>Homecoming Queen:<br \/>\nNORTH: Also a physics major.<br \/>\nSOUTH: Also Miss America.<\/p>\n<p>Fathers:<br \/>\nNORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.<br \/>\nSOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.<\/p>\n<p>And some of it is just plain buuuulllllshit:<\/p>\n<p>When National Anthem is Played:<br \/>\nNORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.<br \/>\nSOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony. <\/p>\n<p>It makes me want to say a big ol&#8217; FUCK YOU to the commish. But it also makes me a little jealous.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tailgating.com\/Trivia.htm\">Tailgating Trivia, via the Commissioner of Tailgating<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Regular readers of this blog (or anyone who read last Sunday&#8217;s post) know that I am currently obsessed with the South. I want to live there so bad, I start drawling and spouting y&#8217;alls just thinkin&#8217; &#8217;bout it. This craze has several origins: an ex from North Cakalaki, a formative summer in high school when [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}