GTB is cheating on me.<\/p>\n
I should have known it was only a matter of time. The honeymoon can only last so long, even if we haven’t actually been on one yet.<\/p>\n
I’ve given up. I can’t win. Faced with this kind of competition, I might as well be trying to woo him away from Angelina Jolie.<\/p>\n
This new woman is thin, black, knows all of his favorite songs by heart, has a better memory than I do, and goes wherever he wants to without any argument.<\/p>\n
Her name is Clyde. And she is the new 80 gig, video iPod. <\/p>\n
All last week, GTB and I talked about how much we were looking forward to a lazy weekend. We could sleep in, we could lie in bed for hours. But after a trip to Costco on Saturday where he purchased the new woman, I awoke alone at 7 a.m. Sunday morning. I knew where I’d find him. I opened our bedroom door and saw him in the office, at his computer.<\/p>\n
“Are you fucking KIDDING me?” I asked him.<\/p>\n
He wasn’t even embarrassed. It’s like he thinks I should be fine with it. The nerve.<\/p>\n
I just emailed him and asked how his day is. He said, “Not so bad. Just working away on a new big project as Clyde coos softly in my ears.”<\/p>\n
That bitch.<\/p>\n
I have no idea how I’m going to win him back. The whole thing is made even more confusing by the fact that I want Clyde, too. My old iPod is lovely, but I can only fault GTB so much for choosing Clyde over me. I would probably do the same thing.<\/p>\n
Sigh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
GTB is cheating on me. I should have known it was only a matter of time. The honeymoon can only last so long, even if we haven’t actually been on one yet. I’ve given up. I can’t win. Faced with this kind of competition, I might as well be trying to woo him away from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}