I’ve been purposefully not making any mention of Paris Hilton’s DUI. Kinda because I don’t care, but mostly because it’s going to do nothing to expedite her departure from the spotlight. If the bitch is more popular after homemade porn showed her giving a lackluster blow job, a one-margarita drunken driving arrest isn’t going to hurt her either. Unfortunately.<\/p>\n
That said, some good has come of the whole DUI ordeal. And that good is this little nugget I found in the middle of an article about how hurt she is that everyone is making a big deal out of nothing (poor thing):<\/p>\n
“According to a national research study, a 137-pound woman would need to consume three drinks in one hour on an empty stomach to reach a .08 blood-alcohol level.”<\/p>\n
Do you know how often I have an empty stomach? NEVER. Never is the answer. Do you know how often I drink three drinks in one hour. The answer to that one is REGULARLY. So if I weigh approximately that amount (or maybe a little more–hey, I’m dieting, ok?), and my stomach is full or something close to it, I’m safe having three drinks in one hour? <\/p>\n
SAH-WEET!<\/p>\n
Thanks, Paris. For once, your gargantuan idiocy has done someone some good. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been purposefully not making any mention of Paris Hilton’s DUI. Kinda because I don’t care, but mostly because it’s going to do nothing to expedite her departure from the spotlight. If the bitch is more popular after homemade porn showed her giving a lackluster blow job, a one-margarita drunken driving arrest isn’t going to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=255"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hickopolis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}